Marble Lady falls on stony ground

Former prime ministers are often remembered with statues in their home towns.

But all Grantham could manage for Maggie Thatcher is a poxy blue plaque. Until now.

The town may become the new home of an old £150,000 marble effigy.

The statue has been locked away since a protester knocked its head off with a cricket bat in 2002.

But “there are practicalities to consider,” warns mayor Ian Stokes.

“I heard the chair of the local Labour Party saying that she would like to smash it to smithereens and use it to fill the potholes.”

Pay as you play

There’s good news for children in Battersea, south London.

The Tory council has unveiled plans for a new adventure playground.

It just knocked the old one down—once protesters had been dragged off.

The bad news is that they’ll be charged a “top-up” fee to use the fun bits.

Know your enemy

David Jones, Tory Welsh secretary

• Last week Jones had himself driven 100 metres by limo to Downing St, and back 90 minutes later
• He must have been tired from staying up the previous night to vote against equal marriage
• A tax credit cut for 5,500 people in his Clwyd West constituency will no doubt help pay the petrol bill